Red Dwarf Series VII Episode Guide

Red Dwarf
Series VII Episode Guide

Regular Cast:

Chris Barrie as Arnold Judas Rimmer

Craig Charles as David Lister

Danny John-Jules as Cat

Robert Llewellyn as Kryten

Norman Lovett as Holly

Chloë Annett as Kristine Kochanski

7.1 Tikka To Ride

Original Airdate: 17-Jan-1997

Written by: Doug Naylor

Directed by: Ed Bye

Guest Stars: Michael J. Shannon as John F. Kennedy

Toby Aspin as Lee Harvey Oswald

Peter Gaitens as FBI Agent

Peter Ashe as Cop

After Starbug was destroyed, the future crew no longer existed - therefore were unable to go back in time and kill the present crew, hence they survived.

But unfortunately disaster has struck. Starbug is completely devoid of curries. Lister proposes that they go back in time to order a couple of hundred curries from an Indian Restaurant. The rest of the crew will not go back in time because they are afraid of becoming the future selves they saw. However, Lister removes a guilt chip from one of Kryten's spare heads and swaps them over, telling the new guilt-less Kryten to reassure them it will be OK.

They go back and appear in the Texas School Book Depository in Dallas on November 22nd 1963 just as Lee Harvey Oswald is taking his shot at President Kennedy. They knock him out the window where he dies hitting the ground, preventing Kennedy's assassination.

To avoid being captured they go ahead a couple of years, however Kennedy's survival causes an alternate reality where he has been impeached out of office and the new president is controlled by the Mafia, allowing the Soviet Union to build several Nuclear Silos in Cuba. Fearing the Soviets will start a nuclear war, all the major US cities are deserted.

Lister goes to the airport which would have been renamed JFK Airport where Kennedy is being transported to prison. He persuades Kennedy to go back in time with them, and be the gunman on the grassy knoll, and shoot himself for the ultimate conspiracy theory. After restoring Earth's normal timeline, The gang return to Starbug. Of course they still haven't got any curries...

7.2 Stoke Me A Clipper

Original Airdate: 24-Jan-1997

Written by: Doug Naylor & Paul Alexander

Directed by: Ed Bye

Guest Stars: Chris Barrie as 'Ace' Rimmer

Brian Cox as King of Camelot

Ken Morley as Captain Voorhese

Sarah Alexander as Queen of Camelot

John Thompson as Good Knight

Alison Senior as Princess Bonjella

Mark Lingwood as Gestapo Officer

Mark Calisle as Lieutenant

After travelling through countless realities, Commander 'Ace' Rimmer returns to the Red Dwarf crew to ask a favor of his alternate self. It seems that the real Ace Rimmer died years ago and has been replaced many times over by his counterpart from each reality. This Ace Rimmer will soon die and asks our Rimmer to be his sucessor as an inter-galactic hero.

After a little push from Lister, which seems to bring the two closer together, Rimmer decides to accept the offer and begins his training. When Ace dies, Rimmer dons his outfit and says his goodbye to the crew before leaving Starbug.

7.3 Ouroboros

Original Airdate: 31-Jan-1997

Written by: Doug Naylor

Directed by: Ed Bye

Guest Stars: Chris Barrie as Arnold J. Rimmer

Gary Beasdale as Frank

Juliet Griffiths as Barmaid

Adrienne Posta as Flight Announcer

Alexander John-Jules as Baby Lister

Over 3,000,000 years ago in the Aigbuth Arms pub, a box with a baby inside was placed under a pool table with just the word Ouroboros written on the side....

Returning to the present day, the crew come across a wormhole between dimensions. They go through the wormhole, and meet an alternate version of themselves. Rimmer isn't there, Lister is a Hologram, Kochanski is alive, and Kryten is wearing a gold suit. They decide to exchange information and Kochanski requests that Lister fills a canister up with his sperm, so that she may have a child as her Lister cannot bear children. Unfortunately, Lister's in-law's - the GELFs attack (see Emohawk), and cause a break in the wormhole and Kochanski becomes caught on this side.

They eventually manage to escape the GELFs, thanks to Kochanski's navigation. Kryten is jealous because Lister likes Kochanski more then him and is glad when they return to the wormhole to get her back to her own dimension. On a box they found some supplies in, Lister notices has a label "Ouroboros", with a symbol on it: a snake biting his own tail, meaning infinity - a neverending circle. Lister recognises this as what was on his own box and realises that he is his own father and Kochanski is his mother. He rushes after Kochanski to get the in-vetro tube back before she returns to her reality.

Disaster strikes, as the GELFs return and make the break in the wormhole even bigger. Kochanski tries to jump across and misses the other side, falling into a deep black void. While she's falling, Lister rushes back and gets a crossbow and a rope which Kryten happened to have handy, and harpoons Kochanski and pulls her back to his side. 18 months later, Lister takes he and Kochanski's child, and puts him in a box, writing "Ouroboros" on it, so it would remind himself of the sign when the child got to be him, and he would bring back his child, etc...

7.4 Duct Soup

Original Airdate: 07-Feb-1997

Written by: Doug Naylor

Directed by: Ed Bye

Kochanski is not adjusting very well to being on Starbug and Lister tries to make her feel better by building her a makeshift bathtub and finding some extra clothing for her. Kryten thinks that this means they are growing closer and soon will not need him so he 'accidentally' causes an engine failure, forcing the crew to crawl around in the air ducts to get to the engine room.

7.5 Blue

Original Airdate: 14-Feb-1997

Written by: Doug Naylor & Kim Fuller

Directed by: Ed Bye

Guest Stars: Chris Barrie as Arnold J. Rimmer

While Kochanski is still trying to get back to her dimension and Kryten is still jealous of the relationship that she could have with Lister; Lister begins to miss Rimmer and reflects on some of the fun times that he and Rimmer spent together in the early days after the accident. When he has a dream that Rimmer returns and he and Rimmer kiss, Kryten tries some psychology to get to the bottom of Lister's problem. However Kochanski has a little talk with Lister and makes him realise why he misses Rimmer, much to Kryten's disgust. Kryten, having to be one step better than Kochanski, creates "The Rimmer Experience" a virtual reality rollercoaster created from Rimmer's memories, depicting him thinking of himself as a 'Hero' and a 'Remarkable Person', giving Cat fashion tips and believing that Lister has called for Rimmer to save him before he wets himself. As the ride finishes Lister is so angry at Rimmer that Kryten sticks it to Kochanski because his method worked better than hers.

7.6 Beyond a Joke

Original Airdate: 21-Feb-1997

Written by: Doug Naylor & Robert Llewellyn

Directed by: Ed Bye

Guest Stars: Robert Llewellyn as Able

Don Henderson as Simulant

Vicky Ogden as Mrs Bennet

Alina Proctor as Jane Bennet

Catherine Harvey as Kitty Bennet

Sophia Thierens as Lydia Bennet

Rebecca Katz as Mary Bennet

Julia Lloyd as Elizabeth Bennet

Kryten finds a lobster scuttling around the cargo hold and cooks an elaborate feast for the crew as it is the anniversary of when he was rescued from the Nova 5. The rest of the crew however have prepared to enter a virtual reality world of Jane Austen, where Kochanski hopes to teach them a little culture. Kryten is extremely upset that they left without touching his feast and enters the VR world, blowing up the characters of the game with a tank and ordering the crew to supper. Kryten seems to calm down as they tuck into the lobster but Lister asks for a little ketchup to 'pep it up' and Kryten blows his top. Literally.

They replace his head but the rage still flows through him and they eventually run out of spare heads. They go aboard a derelict ship and find some heads but they dont have their primers installed. The crew realise that it is a simulant ship and hightail it, but they cannot leave without the heads so they dress up as GELFs and make a deal with the simulant captain. They get the heads but when they return to Starbug it has been looted and Kryten is gone.

The simulant brings Kryten's body aboard his ship and tells another series 4000 mechanoid, Able to repair him. Kochanski devises a plan to make the simulants think that they planted a bomb on the ship and it works. The simulant, along with his GELF partner, Able and Kryten, beams aboard Starbug and demands to know where the bomb is. They refuse and the simulant tells Kryten the code to a sealed file in his memory about his creator. Able helps the crew escape and they enter an asteroid belt for cover. Kryten tells Lister that his creator was supposed to be married to another scientist but he left her at the alter. She then created a mechanoid in his image, an ugly, annoying, pompous android: the 4000 series. Lister consoles him by saying that he is different now than when he was first created. The simulant ship finds them because of Able's stupidity and Kryten scolds him. Able heads out in a pod and destroys the simulant ship, sacrificing himself in the process.

7.7 Epideme

Original Airdate: 28-Feb-1997

Written by: Doug Naylor & Paul Alexander

Directed by: Ed Bye

Guest Stars: Nicky Leatherbarrow as Caroline Carmen

Gary Martin as Epideme

The crew come across another Jupiter Mining Corporation vessel. Everyone on it is dead except for one person who is preserved in a block of ice. They take her aboard Starbug but the ice doesn't melt, even in very warm temperatures. They decide to leave it till morning to decide what to do. During the night, the woman inside breaks out, covered in rotting skin and dead flesh and climbs into bed with Lister, who believes it's Kochanski. One thing leads to another, but when she kisses Lister, she falls dead, and Lister realises he's just taken about half her face with that kiss.

It turns out it was a virus inside the woman, known as Epideme, who infects it's victims, takes their knowledge, kills them and then preserves the body and waits for another victim. Epideme has now entered Lister. After hours of trying to reason with it, they try to get rid of it by forcing it into Lister's arm and then cutting the arm off. Unfortunately, it doesn't work and Epideme begins to regenerate himself. Lister gets up and decides to sacrifice his life, because otherwise when it finishes with him, it'll move on to Kochanski and the Cat. Seconds before detonation, Epideme reveals a clue to a possible cure and they head to a planet. Unfortunately the planet was destoyed, and the cure did not lie there. Kochanski gets an idea from Epideme and temporarily kills Lister, allowing the virus to enter her, but she uses a fake arm, thus killing the epideme. They revive Lister and all is well; except Lister only has one arm......

7.8 Nanarchy

Original Airdate: 07-Mar-1997

Written by: Doug Naylor, Paul Alexander & James Hendrie

Directed by: Ed Bye

Lister is quite annoyed that his right arm has been cut off, but seems to enjoy Kryten nursing him 24 hours a day; and Kryten is absolutely loving it. Kochanski becomes fed up with seeing Kryten doing things for him that he could easily do with one arm and comes up with a solution - use nanobots from Kryten's self-repair system to rebuild Lister's arm. Unfortunately, Kryten hasn't last seen the nanobots since they had met the Despair Squid (see Back To Reality) They all go into the deep sleep booths and make their way back to the ocean planet.

The computer brings them out of deep sleep and they discover a planet which the Navicomp says is Red Dwarf. They are able to retrieve the original Holly and he explains that the nanobots had deconstructed Red Dwarf, created their own miniscule version of the ship and turned the rest into a planet for safekeeping. They realise that it was the nano version of RD that they were chasing and the nanobots evaded them by coming aboard Starbug and travelling around their own galaxy inside Lister clothes hamper.

After much persuasion, Kryten convinces the nanobots to fix Lister and Red Dwarf. The nanobots follow Kryten's orders and reconstruct Lister's body, going one step further and turning him into Mr Universe! Cat takes control and guides Starbug into Red Dwarf's landing bay. It seems awfully big and Starbug's engines make the sound of a buzzing fly as it passes under another, massive Starbug!

"Uh, Guys; I think we've got a problem here!"

back to Red Dwarf

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Page Last Updated: 10 Jan 2009 at 19:35 PST

7.1	Tikka To Ride
Original Airdate:	17-Jan-1997

Written by:	Doug Naylor
Directed by:	Ed Bye

Guest Stars:	Michael J. Shannon as John F. Kennedy
	Toby Aspin as Lee Harvey Oswald
	Peter Gaitens as FBI Agent
	Peter Ashe as Cop

After Starbug was destroyed, the future crew no longer existed - therefore were unable to go back in time and kill the present crew, hence they survived. But unfortunately disaster has struck. Starbug is completely devoid of curries. Lister proposes that they go back in time to order a couple of hundred curries from an Indian Restaurant. The rest of the crew will not go back in time because they are afraid of becoming the future selves they saw. However, Lister removes a guilt chip from one of Kryten's spare heads and swaps them over, telling the new guilt-less Kryten to reassure them it will be OK. They go back and appear in the Texas School Book Depository in Dallas on November 22nd 1963 just as Lee Harvey Oswald is taking his shot at President Kennedy. They knock him out the window where he dies hitting the ground, preventing Kennedy's assassination. To avoid being captured they go ahead a couple of years, however Kennedy's survival causes an alternate reality where he has been impeached out of office and the new president is controlled by the Mafia, allowing the Soviet Union to build several Nuclear Silos in Cuba. Fearing the Soviets will start a nuclear war, all the major US cities are deserted. Lister goes to the airport which would have been renamed JFK Airport where Kennedy is being transported to prison. He persuades Kennedy to go back in time with them, and be the gunman on the grassy knoll, and shoot himself for the ultimate conspiracy theory. After restoring Earth's normal timeline, The gang return to Starbug. Of course they still haven't got any curries...



7.2	Stoke Me A Clipper
Original Airdate:	24-Jan-1997

Written by:	Doug Naylor & Paul Alexander
Directed by:	Ed Bye

Guest Stars:	Chris Barrie as 'Ace' Rimmer
	Brian Cox as King of Camelot
	Ken Morley as Captain Voorhese
	Sarah Alexander as Queen of Camelot
	John Thompson as Good Knight
	Alison Senior as Princess Bonjella
	Mark Lingwood as Gestapo Officer
	Mark Calisle as Lieutenant

After travelling through countless realities, Commander 'Ace' Rimmer returns to the Red Dwarf crew to ask a favor of his alternate self. It seems that the real Ace Rimmer died years ago and has been replaced many times over by his counterpart from each reality. This Ace Rimmer will soon die and asks our Rimmer to be his sucessor as an inter-galactic hero. After a little push from Lister, which seems to bring the two closer together, Rimmer decides to accept the offer and begins his training. When Ace dies, Rimmer dons his outfit and says his goodbye to the crew before leaving Starbug.



7.3	Ouroboros
Original Airdate:	31-Jan-1997

Written by:	Doug Naylor
Directed by:	Ed Bye

Guest Stars:	Chris Barrie as Arnold J. Rimmer
	Gary Beasdale as Frank
	Juliet Griffiths as Barmaid
	Adrienne Posta as Flight Announcer
	Alexander John-Jules as Baby Lister

Over 3,000,000 years ago in the Aigbuth Arms pub, a box with a baby inside was placed under a pool table with just the word Ouroboros written on the side.... Returning to the present day, the crew come across a wormhole between dimensions. They go through the wormhole, and meet an alternate version of themselves. Rimmer isn't there, Lister is a Hologram, Kochanski is alive, and Kryten is wearing a gold suit. They decide to exchange information and Kochanski requests that Lister fills a canister up with his sperm, so that she may have a child as her Lister cannot bear children. Unfortunately, Lister's in-law's - the GELFs attack (see Emohawk), and cause a break in the wormhole and Kochanski becomes caught on this side. They eventually manage to escape the GELFs, thanks to Kochanski's navigation. Kryten is jealous because Lister likes Kochanski more then him and is glad when they return to the wormhole to get her back to her own dimension. On a box they found some supplies in, Lister notices has a label "Ouroboros", with a symbol on it: a snake biting his own tail, meaning infinity - a neverending circle. Lister recognises this as what was on his own box and realises that he is his own father and Kochanski is his mother. He rushes after Kochanski to get the in-vetro tube back before she returns to her reality. Disaster strikes, as the GELFs return and make the break in the wormhole even bigger. Kochanski tries to jump across and misses the other side, falling into a deep black void. While she's falling, Lister rushes back and gets a crossbow and a rope which Kryten happened to have handy, and harpoons Kochanski and pulls her back to his side. 18 months later, Lister takes he and Kochanski's child, and puts him in a box, writing "Ouroboros" on it, so it would remind himself of the sign when the child got to be him, and he would bring back his child, etc...



7.4	Duct Soup
Original Airdate:	07-Feb-1997

Written by:	Doug Naylor
Directed by:	Ed Bye


Kochanski is not adjusting very well to being on Starbug and Lister tries to make her feel better by building her a makeshift bathtub and finding some extra clothing for her. Kryten thinks that this means they are growing closer and soon will not need him so he 'accidentally' causes an engine failure, forcing the crew to crawl around in the air ducts to get to the engine room.



7.5	Blue
Original Airdate:	14-Feb-1997

Written by:	Doug Naylor & Kim Fuller
Directed by:	Ed Bye

Guest Stars:	Chris Barrie as Arnold J. Rimmer

While Kochanski is still trying to get back to her dimension and Kryten is still jealous of the relationship that she could have with Lister; Lister begins to miss Rimmer and reflects on some of the fun times that he and Rimmer spent together in the early days after the accident. When he has a dream that Rimmer returns and he and Rimmer kiss, Kryten tries some psychology to get to the bottom of Lister's problem. However Kochanski has a little talk with Lister and makes him realise why he misses Rimmer, much to Kryten's disgust. Kryten, having to be one step better than Kochanski, creates "The Rimmer Experience" a virtual reality rollercoaster created from Rimmer's memories, depicting him thinking of himself as a 'Hero' and a 'Remarkable Person', giving Cat fashion tips and believing that Lister has called for Rimmer to save him before he wets himself. As the ride finishes Lister is so angry at Rimmer that Kryten sticks it to Kochanski because his method worked better than hers.



7.6	Beyond a Joke
Original Airdate:	21-Feb-1997

Written by:	Doug Naylor & Robert Llewellyn
Directed by:	Ed Bye

Guest Stars:	Robert Llewellyn as Able
	Don Henderson as Simulant
	Vicky Ogden as Mrs Bennet
	Alina Proctor as Jane Bennet
	Catherine Harvey as Kitty Bennet
	Sophia Thierens as Lydia Bennet
	Rebecca Katz as Mary Bennet
	Julia Lloyd as Elizabeth Bennet

Kryten finds a lobster scuttling around the cargo hold and cooks an elaborate feast for the crew as it is the anniversary of when he was rescued from the Nova 5. The rest of the crew however have prepared to enter a virtual reality world of Jane Austen, where Kochanski hopes to teach them a little culture. Kryten is extremely upset that they left without touching his feast and enters the VR world, blowing up the characters of the game with a tank and ordering the crew to supper. Kryten seems to calm down as they tuck into the lobster but Lister asks for a little ketchup to 'pep it up' and Kryten blows his top. Literally. They replace his head but the rage still flows through him and they eventually run out of spare heads. They go aboard a derelict ship and find some heads but they dont have their primers installed. The crew realise that it is a simulant ship and hightail it, but they cannot leave without the heads so they dress up as GELFs and make a deal with the simulant captain. They get the heads but when they return to Starbug it has been looted and Kryten is gone. The simulant brings Kryten's body aboard his ship and tells another series 4000 mechanoid, Able to repair him. Kochanski devises a plan to make the simulants think that they planted a bomb on the ship and it works. The simulant, along with his GELF partner, Able and Kryten, beams aboard Starbug and demands to know where the bomb is. They refuse and the simulant tells Kryten the code to a sealed file in his memory about his creator. Able helps the crew escape and they enter an asteroid belt for cover. Kryten tells Lister that his creator was supposed to be married to another scientist but he left her at the alter. She then created a mechanoid in his image, an ugly, annoying, pompous android: the 4000 series. Lister consoles him by saying that he is different now than when he was first created. The simulant ship finds them because of Able's stupidity and Kryten scolds him. Able heads out in a pod and destroys the simulant ship, sacrificing himself in the process.



7.7	Epideme
Original Airdate:	28-Feb-1997

Written by:	Doug Naylor & Paul Alexander
Directed by:	Ed Bye

Guest Stars:	Nicky Leatherbarrow as Caroline Carmen
	Gary Martin as Epideme

The crew come across another Jupiter Mining Corporation vessel. Everyone on it is dead except for one person who is preserved in a block of ice. They take her aboard Starbug but the ice doesn't melt, even in very warm temperatures. They decide to leave it till morning to decide what to do. During the night, the woman inside breaks out, covered in rotting skin and dead flesh and climbs into bed with Lister, who believes it's Kochanski. One thing leads to another, but when she kisses Lister, she falls dead, and Lister realises he's just taken about half her face with that kiss. It turns out it was a virus inside the woman, known as Epideme, who infects it's victims, takes their knowledge, kills them and then preserves the body and waits for another victim. Epideme has now entered Lister. After hours of trying to reason with it, they try to get rid of it by forcing it into Lister's arm and then cutting the arm off. Unfortunately, it doesn't work and Epideme begins to regenerate himself. Lister gets up and decides to sacrifice his life, because otherwise when it finishes with him, it'll move on to Kochanski and the Cat. Seconds before detonation, Epideme reveals a clue to a possible cure and they head to a planet. Unfortunately the planet was destoyed, and the cure did not lie there. Kochanski gets an idea from Epideme and temporarily kills Lister, allowing the virus to enter her, but she uses a fake arm, thus killing the epideme. They revive Lister and all is well; except Lister only has one arm......



7.8	Nanarchy
Original Airdate:	07-Mar-1997

Written by:	Doug Naylor, Paul Alexander & James Hendrie
Directed by:	Ed Bye


Lister is quite annoyed that his right arm has been cut off, but seems to enjoy Kryten nursing him 24 hours a day; and Kryten is absolutely loving it. Kochanski becomes fed up with seeing Kryten doing things for him that he could easily do with one arm and comes up with a solution - use nanobots from Kryten's self-repair system to rebuild Lister's arm. Unfortunately, Kryten hasn't last seen the nanobots since they had met the Despair Squid (see Back To Reality) They all go into the deep sleep booths and make their way back to the ocean planet. The computer brings them out of deep sleep and they discover a planet which the Navicomp says is Red Dwarf. They are able to retrieve the original Holly and he explains that the nanobots had deconstructed Red Dwarf, created their own miniscule version of the ship and turned the rest into a planet for safekeeping. They realise that it was the nano version of RD that they were chasing and the nanobots evaded them by coming aboard Starbug and travelling around their own galaxy inside Lister clothes hamper. After much persuasion, Kryten convinces the nanobots to fix Lister and Red Dwarf. The nanobots follow Kryten's orders and reconstruct Lister's body, going one step further and turning him into Mr Universe! Cat takes control and guides Starbug into Red Dwarf's landing bay. It seems awfully big and Starbug's engines make the sound of a buzzing fly as it passes under another, massive Starbug! "Uh, Guys; I think we've got a problem here!"